Ebb And Flow

Life has rhythms, cycles, ebbs and flows. It has natural direction and development to it. A newborn experiences these development cycles quickly after she is born. She will go from a dark fluid–filled life to walking in a short while. Before walking happens there are many other transitions she’ll experience involving teeth, solid foods, diapers, milk/formula, and the all important sleep cycle. 

One day this baby girl might learn to play guitar. She will experience a new development cycle different from the one she experienced as a newborn. She will first have to go from being completely in the dark about how to play, use a pick, finger pluck, chord structures, major scales, minor scales, sheet music, tablature, chord charts, arpeggios, tapping, strumming patters, lead patterns, and techniques. Slowly but surely she will learn these things. She will learn her first song (Louie Louie or Mary Had A Little Lamb of course) and, with excitement, play it over and over again until her parents begin limiting her practice time or make her practice in the garage. One day she’ll even join her friends and start a band, join the school band, or her instructor might even have her join a guitar ensemble. Once in a group, she will learn a whole new slew of of skills of and talents to hone and again experience a new cycle of development and maturation.

At no point would we ever want to stop or slow down a newborn’s development and maturation. At no point would we ever want to stop or slow down a new musician’s development and maturation.

However, for whatever reason I find myself looking back and forth between my future and my past wanting to relive fond memories. Wanting to reproduce fond memories. I find myself not thinking about the new events of the future. I hold onto the fun things I’ve already lived through. There is a certain amount of fear and trepidation coming from the unknown of the future. Truly, it is not the fear holding me back. It is a joy of the past and present keeping me from moving forward. It is the cost of change. The price of new. I think these are the reasons I am having a hard time concentrating on the future. I have had a good life. 

I have a good life. 

What would make me want to upset the apple cart? 

I have been having a hard time remembering the cost and prices I paid for the changes I have lived through. Much like our new guitarist, she will go through the pains of muscle cramps in her fingers from practicing too much and developing calluses on her fingers is not pain free either. However,  I guess you might say, “The end justified the means.”

Today I am reminding myself to embrace new plans for the future. These plans come at a cost. Some of them will be successful, others of them will leave, “room for improvement.” All of them will teach me something. 

What do you think about the future? What cost are you not willing to pay for growth? What past experience are you clinging to?