Being in a new role now, I have much to learn. A new team, new responsibilities, and new processes galore. I have so much to learn and it is everything I can do not to go crazy learning it all. It is not so much the process of learning or the learning that is killing me. It is the feeling of being so new. The feeling of being semi inept at everything and relying on everyone around me to bail me out at every turn because of my inexperience. I will get over it. However, I long to never forget what it is like and how it feels to be working through a new role. How there are volumes of information to learn and my only tool for learning them is time.

In the most different of ways, my patience is being tested. My patience with myself is being tested. I usually have no problem being patient with other people. But, now I have to be patient with myself. I have to wait for everything to become engrained in my mind so that I do not forget it. And, in the event I choose not to be patient, I am handicapping myself and making the learning almost impossible because I will be trying to shortcut the process, skip steps, and potentially break something.

Ultimately, I have to be patient or I will not last in what I am doing.
What are you learning? How patient are you being with yourself as you learn it? How patient are you with others who are learning around you?



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Horsing Around

I remember, as a kid in the 1st or 2nd grade, going on a horse back ride. A horseback ride for me then was not necessarily super special; however, it was different and enjoyable. It is all pre routed and is about as dynamic as the rising and setting of the sun, I don’t know if you noticed, but the sun rises and sets every day. However, there was one very memorable part of this adventure for me. The memorable part was my horse. 

My horse wanted to be the leader. He would regularly march out front of the lead horse and start to lead the group. After a few minutes of leading, he would realize he was not a leader. He didn’t know where to go. He didn’t know how to lead. He didn’t like being in the front. He wasn’t sure what to do. He wasn’t sure where to go. After a few minutes at the front, he would fall back into second place and stay there. 

A short while later, he would want to lead again. He was tired of looking at the back end of the horse in front of him. He would want to be numero uno. Accordingly, would confidently start clopping back into first place and try to lead again. Same as before, once again, he would realize he was in the wrong spot. He was ill suited to lead and had no idea where to go. He desperately wanted to lead. However, he couldn’t. He didn’t know where to go or what to do on his own. 

The horse in the first position, never once nipped, bit, or kicked at my horse. He always let my horse pass him and then gladly passed him back when it was time. 

Which horse are you? How well do you fill your role?

Not Horsing Around,