FEAR

I regularly struggle with fear.

Fear of failure. Fear of not knowing what to do. Fear of not belonging. Fear of rejection. Fear of loss. Fear of messing things up. Fear of letting others down. Fear of being ignored. Fear of doing it wrong. Fear of doing it right, (much like Heath Ledger’s Joker in the Dark Knight, he referred to a dog chasing a car, what would the dog do if it caught the car? What would I do if I actually succeeded?)

These are a few that popped into my mind in the minute or two I took to jot down ideas. When I start to fear, these fears overwhelm me. Then I start to shut down and I am filled with despair, self doubt, and worthlessness.

Not too long ago I heard Danielle Strickland give a talk and she discussed refusing despair. She suggested refusing despair. She suggests visualizing goals, working towards them, and refusing despair. When it works itself into my mind, heart, and soul?

Refuse it.

This deeply resonates with me because I know the feeling of despair all too well. I know how failure feels because of all the dead ideas I have. Thier epitaphs written in the graveyard of despair.

However, I now have a new tool to use. When fear and despair stop by for a social drink or two, I refuse them entry and instead make sure I keep hope in my house. I choose to hope for the best in my projects, ideas, and work.

I choose hope even though I will fail again.

I choose hope even after I forget, let fear and despair into my house, and need hope’s help to remove the bad actors.

I choose hope even when I am overwhelmed by anxiety and the enormity of the projects I have in front of me.

I choose hope because I know fear and despair will show up again and they are not where my story ends.

How do you handle fear and despair? What are some of your fears? How do you choose hope in the face of fear? What reminds you to choose hope? Who helps you choose hope? D

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