Storytelling

The life I live has a story. It has a flow. My life is a flexible story. Sometimes I am the protagonist and sometimes I am the antagonist. At times I am making great decisions and the hypothetical audience is watching and clapping as they see these scenes of good decisions. Other times I am making the wrong decisions and the audience cringes. Either way, my life is a story. My story is a story about whether or not I am willing to grow past my hurts and fears and insecurities. 

Likewise, most stories have a moral. The idea dictating the meaning of the story based on the challenges the characters face. Some stories are simple, like The Little Engine That Could by Platt & Monk. A children’s story delivering the value of overcoming challenges and the power of positive thinking. Other stories are complex with lots of different little morals along the way as different characters continue to grow and evolve over the course of the story. You might consider the original Star Wars trilogy or the Lord of the Rings trilogy as stories where different characters grow and mature over the course of the story and there is not one primary moral but many different morals as the characters mature.

The brilliant part about my story is I get to decide what the moral of my story is. I get to choose whether or not overcoming fear is going to be the moral of my story. I choose by deciding whether or not to face my fears. And, there will be a challenge after I face down my fears. There will be another challenge trying to hijack my story. When the next challenge arrives. I get to choose whether or not to allow it to control my story as well.

What is the moral of your story? Did you choose it or is it hijacking your story?

Storytelling,

–JT

1000 Strong

Cesena 1000 sounds like the new model of Italian sports car. Oddly enough, it is actually a group of people who gathered together in Cesena, Italy. They came together to play an amazing rendition of “Learn to Fly” by the Foo Fighters. 1000 people gathered together to play a song in Cesena, Italy in order to coerce the Foo Fighters to come to Cesena and play a show. 

If you have not seen the video; then go watch it now. It is pretty moving. In case you were wondering if the Foo Fighters were going to go play the concert, here is Dave Grohl’s response. 

Think about the power of these people coming together! They came together to play for a band they loved. Cesena was probably not even much of a blip on the Foo’s radar until this video went viral. However, one guy said, “I want the Foo Fighters to come to Cesena to play a show.” and set off to make it happen. If you watch far enough in the video; then, you will see the ignition of this movement. You will see a guy get up and talk about the year he has spent working on this project. The dedication of the 1000 people who showed up, paid their own way, and spent their own time working to do this right. The time and money they poured into this project ultimately resulted in their net gain. However, none of it would have been possible with the man who started it all. 

Fabio Zaffagnini.

On top of being the dreamer behind all of this, he did not even take fame for what he did. No article I read told me who he is, no tweet told me about how great and awesome he is. Quite simply he is the “Dreamer” behind this project. The only way to find his name I have found is to sit through the credits of the video and watch until it gets to the credit that says, “Dreamer.” This guy started dreaming and did not stop till it happened.

This man started something by himself and people rallied to his cause. His cause was not to solve world hunger or cure cancer. His cause was to bring a band to a location for a concert. His dream was simple, but he could not do it alone. He called and people responded.

He inspires me to work towards a goal larger than myself. He inspires me to rally to the cause of my neighbor. 

What cause are you rallying to? What cause are you leading the way on? What cause are you called to that is greater than you?

Rallying,

–JT

Levitated Mass

Levitated Mass is a 340 ton boulder sculpted by Michael Heizer on the campus of Los Angeles County Museum of Art. For more information on it, use the link above to read up and learn about it. It catches my eye because it is such a serious undertaking. It is not a small feat to do anything from it. Much less, a man sculpted it and had the vision to move it to move it and get it positioned correctly, supported correctly, and safe for visitors. 

He could not have done this by himself. He needed help. Simply based on the idea of moving it, he could not have done it alone. Given the full spectrum of ideation to execution, he needed the help of so many other people. 

I resonate with the need to get help from other people. I am in the midst of a phase of life where my goals are larger than myself. My tasks are require more than I can give. The sum of my life does not fulfill the needs of the community I am in. I am forced to connect with other people. Use different teams than I am familiar with. I am forced to rely on people I have never relied on before and I am entrusted to execute at a higher level than I have ever asked of myself. 

I feel as if I am being called to develop teams to move the Levitated Mass in my own life. 

The beautiful part about the Levitated Mass is it is an insurmountable rock. You do not have to have the same 340 ton boulder as I do. Your boulder can be completely different and just as Earth shattering, if not more so. 

I am learning to ask for help in moving my boulder. I am learning who I can ask and who I cannot ask. I am learning how to ask people. I am learning to find new people to ask and I am learning to take charge.

What is your Levitated Mass? Whose help do you need in creating it?

Massively,

–JT

Who I Am

I was recently discussing with a friend about music, electronic drums, and computer generated drum beats. He was telling me about how recently scientific study began to produce results indicating we do not like to hear a computer generated drum beat. Our ability to appreciate these drum beats had nothing to do with the natural sound, synthesized sound, or composition of the beat. The issue was the perfection. 

People did not like the perfect beat. 

They did not like how perfect it was. 

How sterile the beat was. 

People did not appreciate the inerrancy of the beat. I assume the beat was presented to the common person and they were given a double blind test to see which one they preferred. 

However, is it not peculiar as we continue our way towards mimicking robots mimicking humans? Does it stand out to you how we continue to push closer to being more like robots and we push robots to be more like us?

Maybe, my goal should not be more like the robot. To live more like the robot sheriff of legal town. Should my goal to be more like who I am and continue to be me?

I think I should be a better version of myself. I should be a healthier version of me. I do not need to be a more perfect person. I need to be a more human person. I need to be who I am and be a better version of me every day. I do not need to be like the robot computer in the movies who decides what the law says and how to follow it. I need to be a better version of me every day. 

Who are you trying to be? What does it look like to be a better version of you tomorrow? 

Me,

–JT

On Writing

Over the course of the last eight months I have had moments where it has been hard to come up with topics to write about. I don’t think of this because I want to end my blog, I think of this because I do not want to stop writing. I like writing. It has become a discipline for me to force myself to dig into who I am. Writing has caused me to take time to reflect and dig into how I work. I have found cobwebs in closets needing to be cleaned out. I have found golden nuggets from my childhood. I have found all sorts of different items I am so happy to have dug into. Though not every word has been profound or prolific in every way, every post has been a mild reflection of who I am. 

Every post has forced me to dig in. Not every post has been deeper than the last; but, every post has been a nugget of my own self reflection. I do not consider my writing to be the best work I have ever done. I do consider it to be collectively a success. I am drawing up on a year of writing. 

Last year I never would have thought I could have come this far. However, I am glad to have had this time. Forcing myself to dig deep and continue to be more authentic with myself has caused me to be a better person. I have caused myself to make changes in the way I interact with other people. I have made changes in the way I think about other people. I have become much more observant of my environment and how people and things work together. I am glad to get to do this in a public forum. Having a pseudo public conversation about myself so regularly has cause many private conversations to have to be deeper. To share the deepest parts of myself publicly week after week would exhaust and kill me. Having shared what I have shared, has caused me to pry the lid from many crates I thought I would never open and open crates I never knew I had. 

Writing every week has caused me to push deeper into shallow relationships I was selling short.

Where in your life are you opening up closets, cleaning out the cobwebs, and looking into who you are? Who are you sharing these deeper parts with?

Prying,

–JT

Growth

Growth, I have been observing many things in life and their ability to grow or not grow. Most things I watch from afar, such as corporations, businesses, and people groups. Some things I watch closely, like my job, friends, and finances. Very few things in life I watch with microscopic examination, such as my health and well being, the health and well being of my wife, and the stability of our home’s ecosystem. 

I try to have a general knowledge of where most all of these things are at. I try to keep an idea of what symptoms are of a healthy growing home and symptoms of an unhealthy growing home.

The unhealthy growth is resonating with me deeply at the moment. Unhealthy things grow. Cancer, great example of unhealthy growth. 

Nobody asks for cancer. Nobody wants uncontrolled growth in their body. Nobody wants their body to become a garden of tumors. However, unhealthy things grow. Weeds grow. They grow right along side healthy wheat. They spring up and there is nothing you can do about it. 

As I continue to fertilize, water, and cultivate my personal health, there will be seeds falling into the soil I did not put there. There will be parts of me I did not intend to grow, but they have been growing for years. There will other parts of me I thought were healthy and it turns out the net result is unhealthy. 

The unhealthy parts will grow, even when I think I have cut them off. The only way to pull them up is to dig deep and pull it up by its roots and know it is going to hurt. 

An unhealthy part of me is, I am afraid to speak truth or my opinion (not always the same thing) when it opposes someone else’s truth or opinion. I am afraid to hurt people’s feelings. I am not doing these people any good to not speak truth when they are pointed in a bad direction.

Where are unhealthy things growing in your life? 

Digging Deep,

–JT

Compensate

The most constant portion of my life is me. I am a highly constant part of my life. I am always a party to what I am doing and a variable in what I do, what I do not do, and where I go. I am always there. I cannot separate me from myself. My flaws, my skills, abilities, hurts, habits, hang ups, and intelligence are all a part of who I am. To constantly be getting to know myself better means, I know how to better operate within the constraints of who I am.

An excellent metaphor is staying in tune on an upright bass. If I am playing along and I start to notice the open strings are sounding flat, then I want to compensate and slide my positions a little sharper as to compensate for the flat strings. Doing so keeps me in tune with the rest of the band and means we all sound good together. 

Likewise, if I know I have a hard time staying off my phone or twitter during dinner; then, I need to preemptively put my phone away before I ever sit down for dinner. Knowing myself well enough and my self control to the point where I know what I am and am not capable of doing, I am able to preemptively work towards my own success. I start to learn how to trick myself to do the right thing even though I know my psyche does not want to do it out of fear or anger or simply a bad habit. 

Ultimately, I learn how to adjust for my own shortcomings and strengths for the good of those around me. I am also more successful in what I do. I know where my loopholes are. I know how to get around myself and work with me as a teammate not an adversary. 

Knowing my own natural actions and reactions allows me to know how I am going to react and I can get ahead of myself to be successful despite my shortcomings.

Where do you act or react poorly? How can you preemptively compensate for yourself from making poor decisions?

Preemptive,

–JT

The Enemy of My Enemy

When I was a kid, I would go to my school for summer daycare/summer school/summer babysitting. It was me and a bunch of other kids and classmates all hanging out through the summer with a bit of 'adult supervision.' Very little of my time was educational during these months. Most of my time was hanging out, sweating in the sun, playing basketball, Legos, or just being kids for the most part. I did this for a few years from kindergarten through third grade while on the retirement sandbar of Florida. 

Over these summers, my friends would play G.I. Joe’s There were good guys, bad guys, and the desolation in between. Generally, I was not wanted when my friends would play G.I. Joe’s. I would ask to play, they would decline. I would watch for hours, never invited. I tried many different tactics over these summers. Pretty much all of my tactics ended the same, me wandering away spinning myself on the merry-go-round or watching cars driving by the fence. *cue world's smallest violin* However, one day I had an especially creative way to get to play.

I was watching my friends play with their action figures and they were combating the evil COBRA and their dastardly plan to take over the world. As I was watching, I noticed the COBRA could not fight back. They sat there, inanimate, and docile, sitting ducks if you will . What fun could it be to defeat an enemy without a brain? I found my way in. I would be their enemies. I would be the brain behind their opposition. I would be able to play G.I. Joe’s with too!

I too had a place to play. I too had the ability to join in. My scheming did not end there. After much asking and convincing, they let me play as the COBRA opposition. They decided I was a worthy opponent, if not only to be destroyed relentlessly. After a few thorough beatings, I was finally able to make the transition. The figurine I had identified as the second in command of the COBRA Command wanted to defect to the other team. They were resistant. They did not want another player in the game. 

They wanted an enemy. 

They did not want me to be playing with them.  

They wanted to beat their enemy. I was their enemy. After a time, I was still able to defect. I joined the G.I. Joe Real American Hero team. As the summer drew on, I was able to continue to be the bad-guys each day, I would defect, taking less and less time as the summer drew on. They even allowed me to join the G.I. Joe’s from the beginning. 

I was persistent. I was unwanted. I found a way to step over the boundary and become more than I was given credit for. 

What obstacles in your life are you giving up on? What obstacles in your life are you not taking the time to overcome? What opportunities are you missing out on?

COBRA Defector,

–JT

Features

Have you ever experienced a broken product? It just does not do the job you paid for it to do. You try, you finagle. You adjust. It does not do the job you have put money out to have done. No matter what you do or how you rearrange it, it does not work. It actually even brings the other products around it down too. They are not as functional as they could be because of this one product. It is not as if this product is not doing anything. The product is simply functioning in a useless way. It will not do what you need it to do and it will keep doing things you do not need it to do. And what’s worse, sometimes it even does things counterproductive to the environment it is in.

I feel like the broken product sometimes. Other times I look back at life and see points in my life where I was a broken product. I am never proud of those moments. Broken product moments are when I am not being an enhancement to the people around me. I am trying to do the right thing. I am trying to help. However, I am limited by my perspective or my understanding of the situation. Other times I am limited by my maturity, selfishness, or personal grievances. I am not idle am doing something. The question is, am I doing something productive or counterproductive. Am I operating as a feature or as a hindrance? Another way to ask this questions is, Am I doing the job I have been hired to do? I do not only mean in the professional sense but also the personal sense. For instance, my wife has hired me to be her husband, my friends have hired me to be a good friend, my landlord has hired me to rent their apartment. Hiring someone does not mean they are being paid for the job to be done. Hiring someone means they are given the tools and believed to be capable of the job to be done. (I will have to discuss my thoughts and the thoughts I have gleaned from others on this topic later.) When I do the job I have been hired for, I enhance my environment; but, when I do not do the job I have been hired for, I impede my environment from achieving it’s full potential.

I strive to be a feature to the people around me, to my friends, spouse, coworkers, and family. I try to be a feature. However, how can a feature know if it is a hindrance? 

They are both trying to do what they are designed to do. They are both operational. They both are trying to move their agenda forward. However, how does their environment react? Is their environment a better place because they are operating in the way they are designed? Are the people around me better for knowing me?

Are you a feature or a hindrance? Are the people around you better for knowing you? Are you doing the job you’ve been hired to do?

Featuring,

–JT

Favorite Things

I listen to several podcasts. Not a lot by comparison for sure. But several none the less. One podcast in particular, I especially enjoy. Both of the guys on the podcast are good guys with big hearts, sharp minds, and generally concerned with the well being of other people. Over time I have grown attached to this podcast primarily because I relate to the guys so well. I would have to say, over time, it has become probably one of my favorite podcasts.

Recently shared one episode of one of my favorite podcast with my wife. She did not know it was one of my favorite podcasts and she did not enjoy it. It was obvious she was not enjoying the podcast because she teased it and joke about it. She was not harsh, she was popping a few jokes at the podcast, no different than we have ever done before on together. However, this time, I was hurt. 

My podcasts are to some extent my friends. They talk, they don’t expect me to talk, and I can glean information from them, about as perfectly one sided as it gets. It hurts though to have one of my favorite podcasts tarnished by knowing she is not into it. And truly, it is not a podcast even remotely in the genre of podcasts she might be into. 

The hard part is feeling like I have shared a part of who I am with someone else and they did not really appreciate it. Everyone does not have to like what I like, but we should be respectful in how we tell each other we do not like each other’s entertainment.

The truth of the matter is, I was being too sensitive. I am not trying to say there is something wrong with being sensitive. I am saying there are some issues not worth being as sensitive about as I was being. No matter what my personal connection is to this podcast, there is no reason to be hurt or emotionally offended over my wife not liking it. There is reason to keep sharing and offering parts of myself with others.

I have gained far more in sharing my thoughts and feelings with people or sharing hobbies and ideas I consider to be a part of myself. I have been hurt and lost some in the process of sharing with others. However, this is a situation where I know the good far outweighs the bad previously, now, and moving forward.

What do you have to share with other people? When was the last time you shared part of yourself with someone else? When will you share part of yourself with someone next?

Sharing,

–JT

Scenery

Scenery is beautiful. Loads of people love to look at mountain scenery. They love to look at the mountains with the fresh air a bit of white capped snow at times, or a lot of snow depending on the time of year. When it is cloudy and overcast the mountains cast a shadow and cause contrast to the overcast. When it is bright and sun shining outside the mountains have a beautiful depth and magnificent color. I know people who can just sit out and watch and stare and enjoy the beauty of the mountains for a seamless endless amount of time. 

To truly get an extra sucker punch in on the viewer, throw a sunset behind the mountains and you have almost quite literally set off all of the fireworks in the world in a three hour fireworks display. And your viewer will not leave their spot.

Then there is me. I cannot sit and stare at the scenery. I cannot watch the comings and goings of critters. I cannot hike around the mountains and “rough it” for any amount of time. People who camp refer to my style of camping as “glamping.” I’ve tried to sit down and stare at the mountains and enjoy the scenery by myself. I cannot do it. Not in the sense of, I cannot overcome the mental block and I will not try. More in the sense of, I have tried on multiple occasions and approximately 45minutes in, I am squirming. I am almost dying to get up and go do something else. My skin is almost crawling and I cannot sit still for the life of me. I have a hard time quieting my brain. I have a hard time focusing on the scenery. 

Now, lets take this same scenario and setting me in front of the ocean. I can and have sat in front of the ocean for hours on end. I would literally have nothing going on around me. I can sit there, alone, without any sort of technology or anything for hours. The beauty of the ocean engulfs me. The power of the ocean draws me in. The waves and the dynamic existence of the salt water completely immerses me in its glory. 

And a good sunset over mountains, though awesome, will only send up a strong signal flare or an M80 for me. Whereas a sunset over the ocean and I am enthralled like kid watching every firework ever set off. 

For me, watching the ocean is an opportunity to reflect and meditate on life. It is an opportunity to almost listen to the very fabric of life sing its song. Every time a wave laps on the shore is a new chorus, the seagulls are lead vocalists, and the fish are the drummer splashing and coloring the jazz ballad. 

Where is your space to go and reflect on life? When was the last time you were there? When will you be going again?

Reflecting,

–JT

Measuring Up

When I was young, a mentor of mine took me out for a trip to Burger King. Nothing special there. Your usual run-of-the-mill, “flame broiled”, “have it your way” sort of place. However, we had a very unusual conversation. The conversation was about measuring up. It was about comparisons and expectations. Comparisons people make of me. Comparisons where other people would measure me and decide to deny or accept me based on how they thought I measured up to their sticks. 

I am beginning to realize I do this now. I measure other people. I say they should measure to metric 1, 2, and 3. Not because I have the golden ruler; simply, because I have developed what I think successful people do in my mind and I want everyone to succeed and therefore they need my metrics. 

I try to maintain a broad understanding of what it takes to be successful. However, that does not change the reality of me measuring people on a very imperfect ruler. My spacing is uneven, the stick curves, and it often fluctuates between Imperial Units and International Units. 

Who am I to be developing any sort of measuring stick for success?

I can clearly communicate expectations and direction for someone. I can develop a clear idea of who I want to be and what I want to do to succeed. However, it is not my job to develop a measuring stick to use to for others to in-errantly obey. It is my job to communicate to others a clear expectation for given situations (i.e. do not touch the stove, it is hot and will burn you most of the time.) It is my job to otherwise help others succeed in the areas they want to succeed in. 

Where are you developing measuring sticks? Where should you encouraging, not measuring?

Measured,

–JT

Promises

Growing up I received many promises. Promises to go do things, promises of riches, and promises of the future. My dad made many promises to me. He told me many different things of what he was going going to do for me or what we were going to do. 

The promises which never came true are the promises I remember most. My dad always had a ship about to come in with a wealth of money on it. He had bright ideas and ambitions. Many of which never came to fruition. He worked hard. He never slacked off. It was never his work ethic leaving him without. It was simply his ability to make promises he would never keep and dreams he never set as goals.

I find myself making these same promises. Not promises about wealth or success. Promises about the right thing to do. Promises including words such as, “I will do that.” or “I will take care of that next week.” or “I will talk to them next time I see them.” These promises are right. They are the promises I should be making. These are the promises I need to be making. However, not all of these promises lead to action. 

Not all of these promises am I writing on my calendar. 

Not all of these promises am I championing. 

Some of these promises I’m even making with the thought, “I have no idea how or if I’ll do this.” But, I still make these promises. Making these promises may not be the same as trying to be your family’s savior or hero, like my father tried. However, making these promises knowing I will never follow up on them is not healthy for me or for the people I am making promises to. If I do not have the ability or wherewithal to follow through on my word; then, I need to not make these promises. I need to say, “No, I cannot do this.” or “I cannot give you my word I can do this. I do not have the ability to do it right now.”

Fortunately, right now I am breaking promises to people and nothing of value hangs in the balance. In a few degrees, I will be breaking promises to people and things and I will not be able to pay the bill for damage I have done. I have to break the cycle now. 

What cycle do you need to break? What promise do you need to keep?

I Promise,

–JT

I Must

I have discussed before going through the Pathmaker personality psychometric. Part of the process is developing a purpose statement of sorts. A statement not so define yourself by, but to direct yourself. It is not all encompassing to who you are as much as it gives you symptoms of what it might mean to find direction and fulfillment in your life. 
Every purpose statement starts out the same, “I must…” All of them start this way; however, for some, these two words carry extra significance. For some, like me, these words also indicate my need to do things and be a part of things. These words signify my need for independence and autonomy. These words signify that – I – MUST – do things. These words also bite me in the butt because – I – cannot do everything. – I – am generally not well suited to do many things. There are people who do things I do, much better than I do. However, for a myriad of reasons, I am the one responsible for these things. 
There are other instances when I am not the most capable, I am not responsible, and – I – do it anyways. I do not grab someone who is more capable. I do not call out for help. I do not delegate. I do it up to a standard equalling less than the best. I do not beat myself up for not being the best. I do beat myself for not calling in the professionals to do what they do better than I do. 
– I – struggle with letting go. I struggle with delegation. – I – MUST – is seemingly a double edged sword at the moment. And this sword is sharp. This sword is cutting me often. I am not a fan of – I – MUST – right now. I would rather my purpose statement started with – SOMONE – MUST –. At which point it would be someone else’s purpose statement and defeat the point. This change would also free me from – I – MUST –. Instead, I continue to live in this tension of trying to let go so the more skilled can do and doing in order to keep the skilled from being bogged down by the mundane.
In your personality, what trait of yours is currently operating unchecked? What does it look like to get this trait in check? 
Letting Go,
–JT

Soap Box Derby

Have you ever been to a Soap Box Derby? I actually have not, so kudos to you if you have. The concept behind this type of race bugs me. 

I grew up watching Nascar and Indy cars. More horsepower than most people will ever need or experience in their lifetimes or ever need to experience. These types of races have always made sense to me, probably because I grew up with them being overly important. 

I take a look at soap box derbies and wonder how they interest so many people, not in a negative sense where I am looking to ‘hate on’ their passion or dreams. Quite literally from an analytic point of view, I do not think I could enjoy roller cart derbies as a hobby or even a spectator really. These soap boxes on wheels are not self driven. They are driven by gravity, the angle of hill, the aerodynamics of the soap box, and who knows how many other factors I am not qualified to guess at or discuss. There is an impressive amount of craftsmanship and science I am not going to discount. However, at the end of the day, the car will never propel itself. As soon as you run out of hill and science–motion, inertia and things, you are done. You are not going anywhere. 

Similarly, I have been coasting on the hill built by those who have come before me. They put in the leg work and prepared the way for the success I have experienced. I have never had to do much more than show up and work hard. Those two elements have allowed me to coast on the same science–motion. Oddly enough, I have been coasting uphill. I have been traveling uphill as others have towed me along. I did not have vision or plans. 

The people who have come before me have built the hill for me to coast on. They built the racer I get to sit in. They towed me to the top of the hill and pushed me down it. They did the science of how to build the car, found the best materials, and greased all my axels. 

It is time for me to start contributing to the hill building, soap box car building, science calculations, and wheel greasings. It is time for me to use my team to continue develop direction and height to the hill so others might be able to coast down it as well. 

For a while I might be left to drive back up the hill I just rolled down. However, when learning to drive, it is probably best to do so in a familiar environment. 

Where are you coasting? What does it look like to start putting in the work to build a new soap box racer for the people who come after you?

Working,

–JT

Ebb And Flow

Life has rhythms, cycles, ebbs and flows. It has natural direction and development to it. A newborn experiences these development cycles quickly after she is born. She will go from a dark fluid–filled life to walking in a short while. Before walking happens there are many other transitions she’ll experience involving teeth, solid foods, diapers, milk/formula, and the all important sleep cycle. 

One day this baby girl might learn to play guitar. She will experience a new development cycle different from the one she experienced as a newborn. She will first have to go from being completely in the dark about how to play, use a pick, finger pluck, chord structures, major scales, minor scales, sheet music, tablature, chord charts, arpeggios, tapping, strumming patters, lead patterns, and techniques. Slowly but surely she will learn these things. She will learn her first song (Louie Louie or Mary Had A Little Lamb of course) and, with excitement, play it over and over again until her parents begin limiting her practice time or make her practice in the garage. One day she’ll even join her friends and start a band, join the school band, or her instructor might even have her join a guitar ensemble. Once in a group, she will learn a whole new slew of of skills of and talents to hone and again experience a new cycle of development and maturation.

At no point would we ever want to stop or slow down a newborn’s development and maturation. At no point would we ever want to stop or slow down a new musician’s development and maturation.

However, for whatever reason I find myself looking back and forth between my future and my past wanting to relive fond memories. Wanting to reproduce fond memories. I find myself not thinking about the new events of the future. I hold onto the fun things I’ve already lived through. There is a certain amount of fear and trepidation coming from the unknown of the future. Truly, it is not the fear holding me back. It is a joy of the past and present keeping me from moving forward. It is the cost of change. The price of new. I think these are the reasons I am having a hard time concentrating on the future. I have had a good life. 

I have a good life. 

What would make me want to upset the apple cart? 

I have been having a hard time remembering the cost and prices I paid for the changes I have lived through. Much like our new guitarist, she will go through the pains of muscle cramps in her fingers from practicing too much and developing calluses on her fingers is not pain free either. However,  I guess you might say, “The end justified the means.”

Today I am reminding myself to embrace new plans for the future. These plans come at a cost. Some of them will be successful, others of them will leave, “room for improvement.” All of them will teach me something. 

What do you think about the future? What cost are you not willing to pay for growth? What past experience are you clinging to?

Developing,

–JT

Knowing Now and Later

You are a leader or a subordinated or both. As I am in my position now I have people I lead and people I follow. I see the people I lead and the people I follow. I need to be taking notes on both. I need to be writing down what I think the people I follow are doing well. 

I literally need to write down what I think people are doing well and what I would not want to repeat. These ideas will always be available to me as I continue to grow and mature in my life. I will always be able to look back and see what works and does not work and what I can do well. 

A journal full of leadership ideas will serve me well as I look to continue to grow and lead and mature. These ideas will also stick with me as I grow. I will not be able to step into a role where I make these same mistakes. I will not be able to forget what it was like following someone in my position. I will always be able to keep a perspective on who I am and how I came to be where I am. 

What is the perspective of someone who follows you? What do they see? What do they know? What is it like to follow you?

Journaling,

–JT

Balancing Act

I have been looking at the reality of relationships in connection with authenticity, engagement, and depth. How people engage one another, dig deeper, and build truly long lasting relationships. Relationships sharing the deepest parts of our lives. The parts we put in the corner and hide from ourselves and each other.

I have found a measuring system. A measuring system I am sure is true for me and is possibly true for you too. I put my relationships on a scale. When I sit down with someone for the first time or the one millionth time, I have our time together on a scale. The scale has weights on it with names such as time, authenticity, intentionality, and trustworthiness. 

How long have I known this person?

How authentic have they been with me in our relationship?

How intentional are they with me and knowing me?

How trustworthy have they proven themselves? 

I put all these things on a scale and thus I have a relationship with someone. I work to keep this scale balanced. Never putting too much time into them, as to seem needy. Never be too authentic, as I might seem more messed up than they are. Never be too intentional with them, as I might seem stalker-ish or creepy. Never share what we talk about and err on the side of saying nothing rather than anything at all. Confidentiality is king.

However, I cannot decide if this system of weights and counterweights is healthy. Then again, I am asking myself, is it actually worthwhile to keep this scale system? As a matter of fact, would it be best to skip the scale system all together, drop something heavy on my end and see what happens? 

What would happen then? Would they run? Would they respond in kind? Would it improve the relationship altogether? Would I have better friends? Would I be a better person? Would they be better for the relationship we have now? The opportunities seem limitless. It truly seems as if talking more freely about myself would not only deepen the relationships I have but also keep me from the relationships that have no future to begin with. 

How do you measure your relationships? Do you tip the scales or do you wait for others?

Tipping the scales,

–JT

Afraid of the Dark

A great leader once said, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” These words may or may not be completely true. But I do believe there is power in fear. It is paralyzing. Fear makes me anxious. Fear makes me not want to do things because the possibility of failure. Sometimes I have even been fearful at the thought of succeeding. Either way, fear still lingers. 

Lately, I have been in many situations where I find myself afraid of what is coming. I am afraid to step up. Afraid to do something new. Afraid to fill shoes bigger than my old shoes. Generally, fearful of what is going on. The crazy part about being so afraid and fearful of what I am doing is,

I have been loving it and hating it at the same time.

I have been doing new things, trying new things, and getting out of my comfort zone and it has been going well. I have been reminded of a truth I once new. If I’m not doing something I am afraid of, I am probably not growing. This phrase is true, not universally true, but it is truth for me  and healthy for now. There are rare times or seasons where I am maybe not doing anything new but there is still some fear in me. 

The core still remains, doing new things often comes with a fair amount of fear. It is good for me to do things I’m afraid of. 

I think I am growing and succeeding because I am facing down my fears. 

The biggest fear I have been facing is my fear of failure. A fear I now call, a fear of learning.

Where is fear keeping you from taking a step out? Where are you letting fear rule you?

Fearfully,

–JT

Designed in California

As I continue to process my findings about myself from the Pathmaker personality metric I went through in December, I continue to unlock nuances to how much impact these nuances have for me. One of these nuances resides within my purpose statement, “I must … create opportunities for others to pursue excellence.” This bit isn’t about me. This bit is about other people. It is about giving them a place to be who they are and suceed. I do not have to succeed for them, I need to put them in a position where they can succeed. I need to give them the tools, resources, and implements they need to be able to pursue excellence. 

The most notable part about pursuing excellence is not achieving it all the time. Hopefully, we will achieve excellence as a rule. However, there will be times where we are in a situation and we cannot achieve. Some people call an unsuccessful pursuit, ‘failure.’ I call an unsuccessful pursuit, ‘education.’ Retitling failure as education takes a bit of the edge off, it does not take away my fear or negative attitude towards it. Retitling failure as education reminds me of the purpose of failure, to learn. 

Thus, we have reached the pinnacle of the back half of my purpose statement. I am here to create space for people. For people to learn, to try, to succeed, to educate, to enjoy life, to be frustrated, to be who they are at their fullest potential. I am here for the purpose of other people. I am freed from making them succeed and tasked with empowering and equipping them to succeed. 

I am both freed and excited.

Whether in mass or in one–on–one (much preferable) situations, I am here to create space for other people to do what they are designed for.

What are you designed to do? When was the last time you acted like this out?

For you, 

–JT