Cope–enhagen, Germany

Copacetic: Adjective, “In excellent order.”

Isn’t it funny that the word cope is almost contained within copacetic? And just looking at ‘copacetic’ and ‘cope’ you’d think they were both just a brother and sister word. Yet, when you visit the authoritative source on all things, you discover, ‘copacetic’ and ‘cope’ are actually unrelated. Now, this is where the conversation about these two words truly becomes scintillating. 

One of my defense mechanisms. 

Over intellectualizing.

I don’t want to admit how I over intellectualize things and think them through 300 different ways and then feel nothing about them. And that is how I ended up down the rabbit hole of copacetic versus cope. 

Another one of my coping mechanisms is shoving, (maybe more accurately, another part of my coping mechanism.) I just take whatever it is that is bugging me and shove it. 

Somebody hurt me?

Shove it.

Displeased with my body, too fat, too skinny!?

Shove it.

I feel insecure because I don’t think I’m smart enough?

Shove it.

My dad left and I’m mad at him because he abandoned me and my mom?

Shoved it.

Shoved it for 7 years.

My dad died and I never properly reconciled with him face to face and now I feel alone in the universe. Lost because I never got a hug from my dad to truly comfort me and make me feel loved and affirmed like only a father can love and affirm his son?


Shoved it for a year.

But wait, how can I just shove and intellectualize everything? I have to have an outlet. I have to be able to do something to preoccupy my mind. I can’t just sit at home ignore everything that is boiling under the surface. At some point I’m going to be alone and faced by the truth of what has been shoved and intellectualized into oblivion. 

Final step to my coping mechanism, video games. 

However, this cycle has to stop.

Now I am on the verge of tears as I know I cannot shove big things anymore.

I am trying to learn healthier coping mechanisms. 

I am facing this overpacked suitcase of baggage.

Equipped with a good counselor and an amazing community.

How about you? How have you been coping? 

When are you going to face your baggage? 

Who is going to help you?