I Must

I have discussed before going through the Pathmaker personality psychometric. Part of the process is developing a purpose statement of sorts. A statement not so define yourself by, but to direct yourself. It is not all encompassing to who you are as much as it gives you symptoms of what it might mean to find direction and fulfillment in your life. 
Every purpose statement starts out the same, “I must…” All of them start this way; however, for some, these two words carry extra significance. For some, like me, these words also indicate my need to do things and be a part of things. These words signify my need for independence and autonomy. These words signify that – I – MUST – do things. These words also bite me in the butt because – I – cannot do everything. – I – am generally not well suited to do many things. There are people who do things I do, much better than I do. However, for a myriad of reasons, I am the one responsible for these things. 
There are other instances when I am not the most capable, I am not responsible, and – I – do it anyways. I do not grab someone who is more capable. I do not call out for help. I do not delegate. I do it up to a standard equalling less than the best. I do not beat myself up for not being the best. I do beat myself for not calling in the professionals to do what they do better than I do. 
– I – struggle with letting go. I struggle with delegation. – I – MUST – is seemingly a double edged sword at the moment. And this sword is sharp. This sword is cutting me often. I am not a fan of – I – MUST – right now. I would rather my purpose statement started with – SOMONE – MUST –. At which point it would be someone else’s purpose statement and defeat the point. This change would also free me from – I – MUST –. Instead, I continue to live in this tension of trying to let go so the more skilled can do and doing in order to keep the skilled from being bogged down by the mundane.
In your personality, what trait of yours is currently operating unchecked? What does it look like to get this trait in check? 
Letting Go,

Being Me

“Everything in moderation, even moderation” –Oscar Wilde

Good quote. It is especially weighty when put into the context of team and identity. The greater good of the team, community, group, or collective is always superior to the need of the one. This truth must be taken in moderation. This truth is empirical so long as I don’t completely sacrifice myself to ‘better’ the team. the best analogy I can come up with is snow. 

Snow is made up of trillions upon trillions of tiny snowflakes. These flakes all work together to become a beautiful, serene, blanket of white fluffy powder. I especially like snow when it is in the mountains and not on the roads. All of these flakes work together to not be individual snowflakes, but instead a mound of snow to ski on, snowboard, sled, snowmen, snowballs, and car accidents. It is the collective power of snowflakes working together to become this powerful snow that can take lives or insulate the winter wheat. Snowflakes must work together. However, never does one snowflake have to give up the beautiful ornate design it has to be a part of the collective. The design of this flake is never placed at a higher importance than the group, however, it is still existent from the moment it forms as a frosty snowflake to the moment it melts into a puddle. The flake has a purpose and identity that is necessary for the collective’s success. 

I have a purpose and an identity that is necessary for my team’s success. I had given up my identity, buried it in a bucket somewhere, shoved it in a closet, and ignored it. However, it was waiting for me. 

I’ve been cleaning out my closets. Emptying my buckets. Now I am who I am and I am going to be me, unapologetically. 

For the sake of the team, 

My friends, 

My family,

And everyone I get to be with.

How much of your identity have you given up for those you love? Have you given up too much or too little?

Being me,