Plateaus

I have been thinking a lot about plateaus. A plateau on a graph, not the geological formation. The geological formation, though beautiful at times and impressive in size and shape, does not resonate with me in same way as a plateau on a graph.

The plateau on a graph has an upward slope into it. Then it levels off for a little bit. Then it rises again. However, if my x axis is time and my y axis is growth, then when my growth line pauses and becomes parallel to the x axis, I have plateaued.

Time does not stop because I have stopped growing. Time will drag me along no matter what I do.

The best reference I can find is the Golden Gate Bridge, a giant undertaking and enormous structure. A structure taking from January 1933 to April 1937 to build, four years of someone’s life was spent building it. However, the story of the bridge started in 1916.

A project almost twenty years in the making. After it was built, the instigator of it all. The engineer who fought and struggled to bring it to fruition, he passed away in 1938.

He spent from 1916 to 1933 working to bring the project to life and only enjoyed the bridge for a little over a year before passing away.

When the engineer encountered the opportunity of building the Golden Gate Bridge, it was all he worked on for the rest of his life. He worked on a project of significance, but it was all he did for his life. It marks the San Francisco Bay area, but it also defined his life, and he was barely there to enjoy it.

What are you working to do? When do you step back to enjoy the work you are doing? When do you stop to enjoy life around you? How are you growing with time? Is the work you are doing now the work you want to define the rest of your life? Who is helping you find where to go next?

X & Y,

–JT

Errbody in The Club

“To err is human; to forgive is divine.” — Alexander Pope

This resonates well with where I am at. My dad definitely ‘err’ed. However, I cannot throw the baby out with the bathwater. I have to recognize the other 21 years of my life where my dad raised me and took care of me. My dad hugged me everyday and told me he loved me. My dad came to most of my events like baseball, basketball, football, concert band, jazz band, musicals, and who knows what else. My dad tried to be there for all of it. My dad told me I could do anything I set my mind to. Part of the reason I am who I am today is because he still believes in me.

Today, I choose to no longer define him by his greatest mistake in my life. 

I choose to no longer define myself by the greatest mistake he made in my life.

I choose to define him by the 21 years he was a good father to me.

I will define myself by the healing and growth I am gaining moving forward.

What do you define yourself by?

Who has hurt you?

Who do you need to forgive?