Opinions

Over time I have learned to need and to fit in. I have not often felt like I needed to fit in, whether it be with a mass or a large group. I am somewhat avoidant of large groups in general. I do not generally see the need to be a part of a larger group. I find I am most comfortable in the presence of a few close friends. 

The opinion of these people is paramount to me.

If one of these few people were to say I am pointed in the wrong direction, I would almost immediately adjust course and change direction. 

I do not generally value the opinion and voice of strangers. People I don’t know at all or very little really. I can even think of situations where complete strangers have inserted there opinions into my life completely unsolicited and I have been so repulsed. I am open to conversations about decisions I make. However, to blatantly tell me what to do or how to do what I do without any relationship with me is completely offensive. In the even one of these people were to voice an opinion about me being pointed in the wrong direction. I would reevaluate, analyze, and process their words to find the truth behind what they are saying. (There is always truth behind an opposing opinion, you have to find out what that truth is before embracing or dismissing it.) After analyzing, I would embrace or dismiss, partially or fully, their opinion and move forward accordingly. 

I have not often found value in trying to give strangers a voice in my life. I expect to earn my right to speak into their lives and vice-versa. 

Who’s perspective do you value and hold in high regard? Who’s opinion should you hold in high regard?

Selectively,

–JT

Someone That I Don't Know.

There are people who walk past me every day who I will never know. They have lives, friends, names, experiences, and value. None of which I’ll ever know. 

The other extreme is the far extreme of people I have known for years, practically since birth, with whom I am connected with. I have a checklist of things I have ticked my way through and found I know everything about them I want to know about them and similarly, they know everything about me they would want to know. Now we’re friends, maybe the best of friends.

The trick is, how do I decide when someone crosses the gap? When is someone I want to cross the gap. I know it happens. I usually realized it happened when I get to talking to someone and we talk about something that happened in their life. Either a major event or a minor event. Then I realize how long it has been since we’ve known each other. I realize how much we’ve been through and how connected we are. 

I love seeing this connection to people. I love seeing how much life I’ve walked with people. I have the friends I grew up with, I’m very close to them and I miss them dearly when I’m not around them. I also have these friends in my hometown. People I’ve known much longer than I’ve realized. Friends who I didn’t realize I value as much as I do till I’m 6 hours away from them. 

The trick is, I don’t know how to help someone across this bridge from stranger to best of friends.

I can, however, try to be more intentional about finding out about who these strangers are. I see them every week, all over town. Why not just stop and talk with one of them sometime. Find out who they are and maybe a tidbit about them. I wonder if I have another friend walking around my hometown and I just don’t know it yet.

How do you know when someone is one of your best friends? Do you spend time trying to get to know those people you run into every week?

Connectedly,

–JT

Stranger Danger

Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. 

A simple statement with all of the meanings. It has so much to say and it strikes me hard as I’m spending so much time in a metropolis. I see people all around me every day and I make snap decisions about them. 

I see someone who is a bum and I assume they choose to be there. 

The fast food worker and I assume he never went to college. 

I assume so much about all of these people yet I never take the time to ask them their story. To discover how they actually got to where they are. I never take the time to explore with them what their future could hold and what hope there is for them. I just keep on driving, ignoring, and assuming I have a reasonable estimation for who they are and how they got to where they are. I don’t spend time getting to know their story. Their story has value. They have value and I don’t take the time to know their story, only to know my guestimation about them.

I had value even though I was in a rough place. I might have never been a bum, but I have been emotionally broken. I have never worked at a fast food restaurant, but if I needed a job and they were hiring I would take the opportunity to pay my bills and fill my belly. I am not too different from these people I am making snap judgements of. I have potential. My potential and value has been called out. I am valued by people who love me who have taken the time to get to know me.

Who am I taking time to know and encourage? When do I stop and remind myself that these people I see have value, potential, and life experiences that have played into their life choices.

With Empathy,

–JT